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The Art of Letting Go

    


   There is a time and a place when you come to that fork in the road.  That ultimate crossing of different paths you are looking to take.  The fear is all too real in your mind and you feel the tension percolating through your nervous system.  What makes this moment of anxiety so painstakingly at times insurmountable?  Why does the logical mind sometimes not align with what the heart wants? What is it that pulls us to and from the correct or incorrect decision.  Is the answer as simple as the emotion we know as FEAR? 

    Many clients that I coach come to me for help when they feel stuck and unsure of how to take that next step.  Most of the coaching in the beginning is to help them identify those limiting beliefs that are holding them back.  There are plenty of self imposed barriers created by those beliefs. They are subconsciously buried  in layers of self judgement and self doubt. The main root cause can be attributed to many different aspects, but I believe attachments are at the core of most if not all.  Hence, "The Art of Letting Go"

    What do I mean by the "art" of letting go? Is there an art to this task? There is plenty of information out there showing us how to let go of your past, traumas, addictions, wounds, etc.  There are life coaches, therapists, psychologists, influencers, social media personas, self help books just to name a few that have impacted this perspective of "letting go".  

The main concept that all of these entities share is that you must LET GO in order to FREE yourself so that you can MOVE forward and attract what is truly meant for you.  

    In my opinion letting go is an art form.  We are all artists in our own ways.  An artist makes art through their own perspective and desire.  They do not care what you think or feel about it.  They create their work and then we take it in.  We love it, hate it, criticize it, we let it inspire us, we share it- the list goes on.  

    The same thing could be said about letting go.  We let go of what is holding us back when we are ready to.  There is no secret formula.. There is no perfect guideline.  There is no 100% proven method. There are only opinions, perspectives, ideas, methodologies, how to guides, the list is endless.  Here is a list of some of the things people do or use:

- Self help books, therapy, plant medicine, meditation, hypnosis,  support groups, journaling, working with a Guru, seminars, cord cutting ceremonies, transformational guides, healing practices, reiki, cosmology, and of course faith based practices.

    Even when you find the method that works for you the actual work sometimes is endless and the journey to find resolution may or may not conclude. The point is that we all have our own timeline to contend with.  There are many ways to deal with this part of the journey.  My  point in writing this latest blog is for you to start working on it sooner rather than later. 

TIME TO TAKE ACTION:

The first step in mastering the art of letting go is to identify your attachments that are connected to those things you are intending to let go and move on from.  Let's take some examples :

1. Relationship that has ended - the attachments could be (the other person, the desire to make it work, the fear of being alone, the need to be loved, the feeling of  lost time, sexual need or desire).

2. Dead end job/career - the attachments could be (the job pays well, longevity, fear of replacing income, co-workers, job knowledge, the “what will they do without me feeling”).

3. Bad physical health - the attachments could be (feelings food provide, alcohol as an escape, fear of judgement when exercising, insecurities, surrendering to family history).

    In these three examples there is a lot to discuss and dissect but the main idea is that in order to let go you must DETACH and move forward into what is truly meant for you.  How about these perspectives on each of the examples above;

1. Regardless of how the relationship ended there is plenty that you learned from it.  Letting go of the desires and fears is essential. Understand that you are worthy of love but most importantly of loving yourself.  The next best relationship cannot begin until you let go of the one you are stuck on.  Letting go will free you up to one day  receive what is truly meant for you. 

2. The job that no longer serves you is a disservice in general.  The point is to continue to grow in your career and have a path to do so.  Feeling stuck due to your attachments will only keep you suppressed.  Let go of your co-dependency with your co-workers and the feeling to be needed or wanted.  If you have over stayed and outgrown your position it is time to move on.  Let go of the fear to start fresh and create your own path to continued growth and success.  

3. Good physical health is essential to accomplish the goals you set for yourself.  Detaching emotionally from food is a great way to begin making changes in your lifestyle.  Becoming aware of bad eating habits, understanding that alcohol can be used as an escape or it can be consumed responsibly will have a powerful positive impact.  Letting go and no longer accepting family history as an excuse for bad health will be liberating.


Now let’s circle back to the fork in the road decision.  My hope is that your decision will be less stressful once you detach emotionally from that which you are trying to let go.  Will there be remnants of attachments? Maybe a little bit but you are now aware of what they are and can make a more logical decision.  The desire and ability to choose the best path for you is now in your own hands.  The freedom to blaze your own trail is within your reach. Ironically, you have always had the ability to make your own choice, you just had to flip the switch in your mind and become aware. Most if not all of your fears are self created and born in your mind. Just as you have created them, you can also destroy them and liberate yourself once and for all.

Love Your Journey......


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