One of the biggest hurdles for my clients to overcome is the lack of confidence due to the limiting beliefs that are heavily rooted in their minds. I say in their minds because that is essentially the issue in its entirety. It is all a specific mindset that has evolved overtime. The seeds are planted early (sometimes in young childhood) once people are able to connect actions and thoughts into their own perspectives and beliefs. People are told what they can or can't do. If their thoughts are against their own cultural norms then they are told to think differently and change who they want to be or do. This is all part of the domestication process and it has been going on since the beginning of time. Regardless of one's beliefs there has always been a certain "way' to be, do, and act. The freedom to think outside the box has never really been encouraged unless it is for the greater good of humanity and can ultimately be controlled. I am not saying that this is true in every example or that there is a conspiracy to hold people down, but I am saying that structural norms are more welcomed than free spirited concepts of rules that are deemed "different" or "unsafe".
For the purpose of life coaching a personal limiting belief is a state of mind or belief about yourself that restricts you in someway. You might have acquired this belief on your own or you might have learned it at some point in life. Most values, norms, beliefs, and customs are passed down from one generation to the next. The ones that have the most impact of course are the ones that stunt your growth as an individual. Then there are the ones that you accept as being true. The choice you make to see these limiting beliefs as part of who you are and as your personal truth begins to lead you in the path of self doubt. What are some general examples of limiting beliefs that people accept as truth? Here is my short list:
- I'm not enough
- I've always had bad luck
- Nothing ever works out
- I am not smart enough
- I attract bad into my life
- I am too old
- I am too young
- I don't deserve the best
- I can't change, this is who I am
- I was born this way
- My family is not successful so I can't be either
- Everything comes hard to me
- and on and on and on and on.............
If you want to make a significant change in your life one of the first things you must do is identify your specific limiting beliefs. This will take hard work and the desire to face the truth. The REAL truth. The only reason you accept these beliefs is because you see them as an actuality. The work that you must do has to involve complete honesty and factual realizations. Lets take the above beliefs and change them 180 degrees:
- I am enough
- I am extremely lucky
- Everything works out for me
- I am smart
- I attract good into my life
- I am not too old
- I am not too young
- I deserve the very best
- I will change, as we are meant to change and evolve
- I was born perfect
- My family defines success, I will define my own as well
- Things come easy to me
So now that we have shifted the perspective into limitless beliefs everything is good now! You can stop reading and solve all of your pain and suffering right? Everything should be easy now, right??
Nope, the work has just begun! The first step is identification and then the next step is ACTION. It would be easy to just believe the positive and forget about the negative and be done at that point. The truth is that for some people many years of negative programming will only change with massive action. Actual doing vs. being. Being is the state of mind and doing is the key to progress in this example.
Lets take " I am too old to learn something new" and break it down from the negative spectrum to the positive. Many middle aged adults are wanting to make a career change due to technological advances and the fear of losing their jobs to AI or the younger workforce. Many large corporations are laying off employees and the fear is valid to a certain degree. People are wanting to possibly go back to school and learn a new skill or possibly start a new business. The belief of being "too old" to start over can be overwhelming for most. The mindset has to shift significantly to allow for a successful transition. What does an older and mature employee have to their advantage? Answer, how about this:
- Experience
- Dedication
- Pride in their work
- Communication skills
- Business acumen
- People skills
- Desire to accomplish tasks
- Years of change and progress
This list is short because I know there are many more I could come up with. The mindset has to shift from "I am too old", to " I am mature and experienced"! Age does not define your value nor your capabilities to learn and develop new skills. It does not stop you from taking a chance on a new venture and starting your own path to success. The only thing stopping you is believing that which you have been told. To get outside the box you have to think outside the box and take the leap of faith, your own faith (in yourself). Bet on yourself and cross that line that was drawn by those who are filled with assumptions.
A limiting belief only survives in the mind. It is given power by the ones who accept it to be as true. It evolves and rages out of control when a whole generation is led to believe it in one way or another. Each one of us has the ability to think outside the box and to transform into what we want to become. We have the choice to accept or not accept our limitations. We have the choice to act or not act on our dreams and goals. We have the choice to hinder and stunt our very own growth and development. I choose to write my own story even if it takes a lifetime. What will you choose to do? My hope is that you defy the very odds that you feel are not in your favor and bet 100% on yourself. The best version of yourself is right behind that door of fear. You have the key, unlock it and pass on through to the room of growth and success.
Love your Journey.
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